Thursday, December 13, 2012

You cannot know the strength of your faith until it has been tested.

This quote is such a powerful, true, and moving statement.  It is something that pertains to everything and everybody... regardless of how you apply it.

It is something that makes me stop and think about myself, about my life.

This is one of those things that, when you put your heart, your mind, and your soul into the deepest meaning of it, you see who you really are.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

This world. myworldyourworldourworld.

What you see is not what I see.  What you hear is not what I hear.  This means that neither you nor I is wrong or right.  And this is where we agree to disagree.  This comes from the simple, undeniable fact that we are all individuals.  We are individuals with our own unique pasts, with our own unique experiences... down to our own unique molecular makeup.

To one, the sky may be blue.  To another, light blue.  To another, pale blue.  To yet another, a bluish-white.  However, we all agree at some point that it's some sort of blue.  Yet again, maybe not!  ...And that's okay too. 

I may be in the same exact room and participate in the same conversation as someone...yet experience the whole thing in a completely different way!  Trust me, it's happened before....  Sometimes, it just amazes me.  But then I remember...

People need to draw themselves out of a self-centered existence.  It is equally important that people are aware of themselves as well as others.  There must be an understanding and acceptance of the differences (and similarities) that we have among ourselves.

All in all... my reality will never meet your reality.  Don't expect me to understand things the way you do...for that is purely selfish.  Instead, do your best to communicate in a way the person you are speaking to will understand... be open and unassuming.

Monday, July 30, 2012


I'd like to share a conversation from work the other night...

An older man and his friend (I would guess that they were both in their mid-to-late 40's) were sitting at my bar enjoying some cocktails and food.  I ended up talking to them for a while since they were sitting directly in front of my well.  They asked how long I had been working there, if I did anything else besides bartend, what else I wanted to do, etc....the usual conversation I have with anyone that stays for longer than a couple of drinks.  After learning about my background (both educational and occupational), the one man exclaimed, "wow, your parents must be doctors!"   A little confused at his response, the rest of the conversation went something like this:

Me:  Why would they be doctors?
Man:  Because you are really smart, so they must be really smart.  Where did they go to school?
Me:  Yes, my parents ARE very smart.  And, actually, they didn't go to school.  Well, my mom finished the 6th grade, and my dad barely finished high school.  But they are definitely some of the smartest people I know.  They aren't doctors, they've owned a restaurant for almost 30 years and have done alright for themselves...

It's interesting what people assume...  There are plenty of smart people that didn't go to school, and vice versa.  But who's to say I (or anybody else, for that matter) am smart or not?  What is smart?  There are so many kinds of "smart".  Everyone is smart in one way or another.  Except maybe this person.  Hah, I kid.  But it's interesting how close-minded people can be.  Open up!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

HappyHappy 5

Happy 5th birthday to Solstice!  For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about (and for those who do), let me explain... 

I still remember my first experience at the then unfamiliar-downtown-club, about 5 years ago.  Before I ever made it down to Bar Smith, I remember my friend Sean (Senbad) telling me to get downtown and check it out.  I kept putting it off because it seemed so far away (where is downtown Phoenix, exactly, and how would one get there???), and the whole idea was so unfamiliar to me (a club in downtown Phoenix...huh?).  Finally, one summer night I made plans with a group of good friends to check it out, some of which had been going already (thanks, Leah!).  I remember thinking, "wow...I've never been to anything like this before.  Everybody here is so different than what I'm used to.  The crowd is so diverse, and everyone is so nice and open .  People are really here to enjoy the music, dance, and have fun...TOGETHER...weird!"  Weird in an amazing way, of course.  Upon leaving, I remember thinking, "WHY has it taken me so long to listen to Sean??!"  After my first time, I was hooked and went back every Saturday...that is, until I started working there.  In which I was still there, but just in a different role.

On the surface, Solstice is just another night at another night ongoing for 5 years.  It's a night that brings a very diverse group of people together from all demographics...something that is very apparent from the moment you take a look around. 

Dig a little deeper, and you know that the night is about good music.  With good people.  Who bring good energy.  Everyone there enjoys each others' company and are united by the music...whether you like house or hip-hop.  Because we only play good shit.  Haha.  No, but really...

For me, on the deepest level, Solstice has become family.  As cheesy as it sounds, it really has changed my life.  I have made so many amazing friends, and have gotten to know so many interesting/talented people because of it.  It has helped me develop a major part of who I am.  It has broadened my view (I now know where downtown Phoenix is, I can tell you how to get there AND other places to go LOL).  It has made me feel like a part of something.  Most importantly, it has brought some of the most important people in my life into my life.  (See, I'm not just some bitchy PH)

Who would've thought that I could get all that from just another night at another night club... ;]

Thank you, PSE, for your vision and continuous hard work.  Thank you Everyone for making it what it is, because we all are Solstice.

Okay...enough for being sappy, but happy to show my appreciation.

Much love and good vibes!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Master Cleanse

So I've never done anything like this before, but I've been feeling a little sluggish and not all myself lately, so figured a good detox cleanse couldn't hurt.  Now, this was something I've known about for probably 6 years and thought that anyone that would do it was crazy (since I like to eat, and usually don't like going more than 4 hours without eating something).

For those of you who don't know what the Master Cleanse is, this is the breakdown of what I'm doing:

I can drink as much purified water as I want.  (I've been drinking quite a bit of water, which is very abnormal for me...usually I don't even drink 8-oz. a day, unless you include my morning coffee.)

My "meals" consist of 6-12 glasses of:
  • 2 Tbsp. organic fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 Tbsp. organic Grade B Maple Syrup
  • 1/10 organic Cayenne Pepper (or more if you can handle it)
  • 8-oz. purified water

Then I take a laxative tea at night.

Let me just say that I've done the total body detoxes that you can buy in a box from the store (two weeks long), and I've always felt the same before, during, and after.  Basically at the end, I just felt like I gave up coffee and alcohol, but coffee, most importantly, for two weeks for nothing.  If I'm going to give up something I love, I better feel fucking amazing!  Hah.  So I was definitely skeptical (and a little nervous) in doing this extreme cleanse.  The cleanse is supposed to be 10 days long...currently I'm going for 5.  I might go longer, depending on the color of my tongue (read below)!

BTW, before I started I gave fair warning of my potential bitchiness to coworkers and friends due to hunger.  Hangriness, if you will.  Haha.

But this is how it's gone so far:

Day1 (Monday, Feb. 13):  I worked all day, so it was nice to keep busy.  There was only one instance where I felt my brain had left me and I couldn't seem to focus...and I thought it was funny.  I then had a glass of the concoction and I felt better right away.  Oddly, I never really felt hungry...the opposite of what I had expected.

Day2 (Tuesday, Feb. 14):  Again, I worked all day.  Woke up feeling great...with lots of energy and not hungry at all.  I actually went through the entire day and night feeling better than "normal".  I realized that my body wasn't hungry for food at all.  It's more the taste of food and the physical act of eating that you miss.  Definitely miss the taste of coffee!  But it's great not having any caffeine in my body...I've got so much more energy than "normal", and it feels real.  Also, at work I spoke with a guy who told me when your tongue turns pink, you are done cleansing.  Interesting he mentioned that because there is a white film that has developed on my's part of the detox process.  Glad to know it's working!  To get rid of it, you just use a tongue scraper.

Day3 (Wednesday, Feb. 15):  Had so much energy I woke up a few times during the night, but finally got up at 10 am to get to the gym.  Did a light workout, then took a nap a little later in the afternoon.  Again, I feel like I have so much natural energy.  No coffee, no Red Bull!

Day4 (Thursday, Feb. 16):  Today, again, a lot of energy!  I woke up at 9:30am (don't remember the last time I could really get up in the morning) and got a lot done.  There were a couple times where I got hungry and was really wanting food.  Good tongue is pink!  I may be done, but have not yet decided.  I would love a crepe from Jobot.  haha

Day5 (Friday, Feb. 17):  ...

So I decided to stop after Day4 because my tongue was pink and I felt like I was done.  I felt like I could've gone on forever, but I figured my body didn't have much to give up, so I should start eating again anyway. 

On the first day of the ease-out process you are supposed to drink orange juice/water; on the second, juice your food; and on the third, eat raw foods.  I decided to go to Yardhouse and eat normal food (Seared Ahi Salad) because I know my body adapts really well to anything and everything.  I wasn't hungry so had a hard time deciding what to order since I usually order off of cravings.  I've been trying to monitor my food intake to make sure I'm getting enough calories.

Overall, I realized that what I missed most about eating was the social aspect of it...catching a bite to eat with a friend, or meeting up for a coffee to sit down and chat.  My body never really became hungry, and I felt more clear, focused, and energetic than ever.  I was skeptical at first, since I've used the boxed cleanses you can buy at the store, but it is so simple, it totally works, and I feel great!  I seriously recommend this to anyone that wants to make a change and is willing to try it!

Monday, January 30, 2012


What does this mean to you?
Whatever your answer, that's all that matters.

Happiness is a state of BEing.  It is a state of living.  It is (hopefully) the result of the collective of conscious choices that we make in our everyday lives.

The only constant is change...and this is why I choose to live in the moment.  So, what makes me happy is what I am doing right now, at any given moment.  I am here because this is where I choose to be.  It is where I want to be.  I realize that what determines my happiness is up to me, and it will always be subject to change.  That's the beauty of it all!  I don't believe in anything "forever".  There is no such thing.  In fact, I welcome and embrace change...whether something changes the way I thought it was going to, or not.

One of the biggest obstacles to most people's own happiness is the idea (which is all they are...unless you allow them to become reality) of social "norms"-- the "supposed tos" and "shoulds".  For example...we should all go to college, start a career, get married, and have children.  But says who?  This may be right for some, but definitely not right for all.  I have chosen a different path.  My own path.

I went to college (twice), earned a Bachelor's Degree (twice--Psychology, then Interior Design), decided not to work in my field of study (twice), opted for a full-time salaried position as a manager in retail (at the time it was really wanted to do, and I enjoyed it!), then left after a little over a year (because I stopped loving it), and now I have resumed bartending full time (for now).  I love my hours since I've always been night owl anyway.  I never have to get up early, I can always stay up late.  Financially, I'm doing better than ever.  My friends come to see me all the time at my workplace, and we both have fun (even though I'm at work).  I can take time off if I want...I don't have 40 hours to clock in every week.  I don't have to schedule my time off around other people.  Most importantly, this decision makes me happy right now!  Life is a collection of the "now"s.  When I look back someday, I want to know I did what I wanted, and that I spent my time with those I wanted.

My message here is this:  happiness is whatever you want it to be, because this is your life!  It is your responsibility (and yours only) to make it happen.  So do what you wanna do, because you're the only one stopping you from doing it.  Dance like no one is watching.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

How this all began....

Since acquiring my first job at the illegal age of 15 (Fazoli's Fast Food Italian...yes, it's true!), I have always had a job, and have worked really hard.  Most of my life, I have had 2 or more jobs at a time...even when I was in college full-time.  None of this was necessary, because I was always given anything and everything I needed or wanted.  My parents have spoiled me my entire life, though I haven't been spoiled rotten.  On the contrary, I recognize and completely appreciate everything they have done for me, sacrificed for me, and given to me.  They are the most amazing people/friends/parents in the world.  But, back to my story....I have always been a hard worker.  I have dabbled in a little bit of everything because I think it's always interesting to learn new things and gain new perspectives... I am a jane of all trades, if you will.  This past year, I was working about 65 hours per week...which left little to no time for myself or my family/friends.  The realization that I didn't know who I was anymore came to a head when I was out to lunch with a friend and was asked the simple question, "what do you like to do?"  I had no answer because I had no idea what I liked to do.  And that's because I didn't do anything but go to work, sleep a few hours, and work again.  It was then that I realized how much of a Zombie I had become.  Not knowing the answer to this question ate away at me until I decided to take control of my life again and figure out what it is, exactly, that I like to do.  Thank God (I'm not religious by any means, but whatever...).  All in all, this blog is a chronicle of my journey in the discovery of what I like to do, and things/people that I enjoy; in essence, it is a (re)discovery of who I am.  This is me, getting back to the real shit.  I invite you to come along with me.  Hopefully I can inspire you, as those around me have inspired me.