Monday, January 30, 2012


What does this mean to you?
Whatever your answer, that's all that matters.

Happiness is a state of BEing.  It is a state of living.  It is (hopefully) the result of the collective of conscious choices that we make in our everyday lives.

The only constant is change...and this is why I choose to live in the moment.  So, what makes me happy is what I am doing right now, at any given moment.  I am here because this is where I choose to be.  It is where I want to be.  I realize that what determines my happiness is up to me, and it will always be subject to change.  That's the beauty of it all!  I don't believe in anything "forever".  There is no such thing.  In fact, I welcome and embrace change...whether something changes the way I thought it was going to, or not.

One of the biggest obstacles to most people's own happiness is the idea (which is all they are...unless you allow them to become reality) of social "norms"-- the "supposed tos" and "shoulds".  For example...we should all go to college, start a career, get married, and have children.  But says who?  This may be right for some, but definitely not right for all.  I have chosen a different path.  My own path.

I went to college (twice), earned a Bachelor's Degree (twice--Psychology, then Interior Design), decided not to work in my field of study (twice), opted for a full-time salaried position as a manager in retail (at the time it was really wanted to do, and I enjoyed it!), then left after a little over a year (because I stopped loving it), and now I have resumed bartending full time (for now).  I love my hours since I've always been night owl anyway.  I never have to get up early, I can always stay up late.  Financially, I'm doing better than ever.  My friends come to see me all the time at my workplace, and we both have fun (even though I'm at work).  I can take time off if I want...I don't have 40 hours to clock in every week.  I don't have to schedule my time off around other people.  Most importantly, this decision makes me happy right now!  Life is a collection of the "now"s.  When I look back someday, I want to know I did what I wanted, and that I spent my time with those I wanted.

My message here is this:  happiness is whatever you want it to be, because this is your life!  It is your responsibility (and yours only) to make it happen.  So do what you wanna do, because you're the only one stopping you from doing it.  Dance like no one is watching.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

How this all began....

Since acquiring my first job at the illegal age of 15 (Fazoli's Fast Food Italian...yes, it's true!), I have always had a job, and have worked really hard.  Most of my life, I have had 2 or more jobs at a time...even when I was in college full-time.  None of this was necessary, because I was always given anything and everything I needed or wanted.  My parents have spoiled me my entire life, though I haven't been spoiled rotten.  On the contrary, I recognize and completely appreciate everything they have done for me, sacrificed for me, and given to me.  They are the most amazing people/friends/parents in the world.  But, back to my story....I have always been a hard worker.  I have dabbled in a little bit of everything because I think it's always interesting to learn new things and gain new perspectives... I am a jane of all trades, if you will.  This past year, I was working about 65 hours per week...which left little to no time for myself or my family/friends.  The realization that I didn't know who I was anymore came to a head when I was out to lunch with a friend and was asked the simple question, "what do you like to do?"  I had no answer because I had no idea what I liked to do.  And that's because I didn't do anything but go to work, sleep a few hours, and work again.  It was then that I realized how much of a Zombie I had become.  Not knowing the answer to this question ate away at me until I decided to take control of my life again and figure out what it is, exactly, that I like to do.  Thank God (I'm not religious by any means, but whatever...).  All in all, this blog is a chronicle of my journey in the discovery of what I like to do, and things/people that I enjoy; in essence, it is a (re)discovery of who I am.  This is me, getting back to the real shit.  I invite you to come along with me.  Hopefully I can inspire you, as those around me have inspired me.